“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Why does it seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship? I know it’s their way of easing the pain of a breakup and while it may be true, it never has the desired effect. The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.
Let’s face the facts. After a split, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of ever loving again seems like a remote possibility. I mention this because it’s important to know that the ebb and flow of feelings after breaking up are normal.
Apart from time, the only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Here are a few things you can do to feel better in the meantime.
Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don’t overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it’s a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!
Stay busy: While you shouldn’t try to completely ignore what you are going through, it’s also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.
Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain “feel good” chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.
Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn’t seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.
Nobody likes to part ways with someone that’s close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree.