Are You a Victim Or a Creator?

‘Choosing what you want to do, and when to do it, is an act of creation.’
-Peter McWilliams

People seek out coaching to bring about change in their lives. Sometimes they already have a clear picture on a goal they want to achieve. Through effective listening and powerful questioning, a coach may discover negative self talk within the client that is restricting them from moving forward. We can help you recognise such self limiting beliefs.

There are two opposing belief systems – ‘creation’ vs ‘victimization’. The mental shift from being a ‘victim of life’ to recognising the benefits of ‘being the creator’ of their lives is extremely rewarding. The creator views life from a totally different angle than the victim, one that’s diametrically opposed to the victim’s view. Whichever state of mind is adopted, it has a significant impact on how we achieve tasks in life.

Some people get lost in the chaos of every day life. We can become so busy and full of distractions. We think about tomorrow before it is here instead of being an active creative participant in the now. When we are so preoccupied we become anxious and feel helpless. Often this can result in life influencing us and our choices, instead of the other way around. Victims are cynical, often pessimistic, full of doubt and fear. They lack the ability to feel or visualise the benefits of the end results.

However some individuals have a desire burning within them that will get them out of bed every morning, eager and excited for the day. They are ‘Creators’. On the other end of the scale there are others who merely wake up and await to see what life ‘throws’ at them. These are the ‘Victims’. One mindset works to bring about change and the other hinders. The difference is that we choose with awareness what is it that we want to believe.

These differing belief systems are obvious in our affirmations. These are messages which, repeated over and over will have a positive or negative effect on our personalities and will ultimately determine our perceived quality of life. We have to become aware of these thought patterns before we can change them and we can help show the impact a specific belief may have.

What have you put off moving in a new direction in your life?

What were the reasons?

It is important to recognise the circumstances (and patterns of perception) that we view ourselves in.
Some negative affirmations that we can listen for may include:

I cant because of…

Being a victim is an unconscious reactive way of being that rarely brings about change in an individual. They are merely achieving the basic needs of existence and believe that they are the victim of their circumstances and external situations. It renders the belief that they are powerless and do not have control on their lives.
The client will experience feelings of impatience, doubt or unworthiness hindering the receiving of goals. With this self limiting belief, not a lot changes for the individual – which will only endeavour to ‘uninspire’ and ‘unmotivate’ them further.

We will need to be mindful of:

-What thoughts are they are committed to?
-What do they focus on?

When we are no longer paralysed by such powerless thoughts we can become free and full of possibilities. We can provide the comparisons that occur between operating from ‘creator’ vs ‘victim’ mentalities.
It empowers people to see that they are the creators of their life and not the victim.

Creators accept their power and use it and become responsible for their lives. When you are not being a victim of life, you experience true freedom. The ego, looking at the world, sees only occasions for struggling and defending, hiding and pretending, attacking or running away. Looking at other people, it sees but others that do likewise – who behave as a victim and as whose victim it can feel itself. Looking inward, it sees guilt and fear, anger and confusion In short: it sees an ego-world – threatening and insecure, and extremely limited. This clearly means: unless we adopt a new and radically different outlook all efforts at overcoming limitations must fail.

We can play a very important role in guiding their perception of situations with more self serving thoughts.

-How is focusing on this situation in this way helping you?
-How is living out of your current mentality showing up for you in your life?
-How is focusing on ‘feeling helpless’ or ‘blaming external factors’ serving you?
-Is that what you really want?
-Do you find yourself to be creative and aware of your decision making process & how good does it feel to be tuned into that?
-Are you willing to create?
-How is focusing on creation creating possibilities for you?
-What does living actively mean to you??
-Imagine you are an active participant – how does it feel?
-Pretend you are the creator of this situation – how do you feel?
-What is the best thing that can happen from creating your world?
-What is the worst thing?
-Imagine you are 10 years from now and took no role in creation – what would your life be like?
-What if you took the creator role, what would it look like?
-How would your life look in 5 years if you existed the way you are now?

To bring creation into their lives brings power and control to each of their days. They will have the ability to choose how their day unfolds as opposed to letting their day control them. It will show them that the power of responsibility rests with them and they will no longer blame or react to external events which render the feeling of powerlessness. The awareness of being the creator empowers the individual and moves them forward into action orientated behaviours. To be creative is a conscious decision and one that must be made by an individual to bring about change in their lives.

It brings about the desire to not only want something, but to manifest it into their lives. Most individuals want change in their lives; however there are many who not have the tools to bring about such a change. The decision to be a victim or be a creator is what ultimately will bring about their desired goals. To recognise the power of each way of perception may inspire the shift that is necessary for them. Creation is an intention – i.e. make a conscious decision and intend. It ultimately brings an understanding that they are the ‘master of their own destinies’. To resist this belief will only bring about ‘excuses as to why they are not making change or taking action steps in their lives.

The saying ‘we are where we are by every decision chose we have made’ is a powerful one. Once we can see the role we make in creating our lives, we can take action to change our lives. We do create your own reality. Our environment has been and can be determined by the decisions and choices we make. Individuals with this belief system do not tire of expansion and creation; they are positive people to align ourselves with. These individuals have new ideas of things they would like to experience, possess or know, and it will come into actualisation. To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation is an optimal creative vantage point. Creators are often skilled at looking at the bigger picture and seeing a positive end result that brings benefits. They become aware of more resources available to them in life.

‘Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.’ George Bernard Shaw