Find a Job – How Not to Find a Job

You will find numerous articles on the internet on finding jobs. But the paradox is that most of us those articles with such a mindset that actually works against your chances to find a job in reality! Here are some top tips to sabotage your chances of finding a job. Statutory Warning – Follow them only when you do not want to engage/ commit yourself to any kind of job.

Top Tip#1: Give Your Credentials a Botox Treatment!

Give your employer something that he would love to see – great credentials on a resume! Of course, you need not be honest about this. Come to reality guys, super-inflated CVs are the order of the day! Best advice – like using Botox to give your sagging skin, a lift – use a similar treatment for your sagging career! After all, everyone knows- – the pen is mightier than the knife! Oops…sword! Got the drift?

Top Tip#2: Get the Coolest Sounding Email ID ever!

Make your presence felt online. The best way to connect to the like-minded people on the internet is to have IDs that appear trash to the pseudo-intellectuals and of course, your employer. Give your employer a reason to believe that you’re unique in every sense possible. Show them how serious you’re with your ability to churn out really ‘cool’ sounding email ids! And because everything is free on the internet, does it matter at all, if you used a paid account instead of a free one?

Actually the paid email ids are a part of the greater internet scams where the companies rip-off an innocent individual. This is clearly unacceptable! Raise your voice against the paid e-mail programs! Go FREE!

Top Tip#3: Do Not Use a Good Job Search Website!

Similar to serious and boring email IDs, the ‘best’ job search sites are actually another part of the great internet scam which have nothing on offer for job seekers but only loads of advertisements that help the, rake revenues in millions! How does it matter at all whether you subscribed to the top search website or the lower ranked job site? The only difference is that the lower ranked site gets lesser advertisements. Being part of a free nation, use your rights to challenge and question the advertisements that you’re showered with!

Top Tip#4: Move over formal tones. Use Texting Language for communication!

It is amazing how one can convey a lot of meaning with ‘jz sum smpl wrdz’! btw (short for ‘by the way’!) you can try using the same texting language to communicate with your employers! They will surely be impressed with your command over the language that will help them know your real worth. (You can actually communicate pages worth of formal information within a single paragraph!)

Top Tip#5: Post whatever you want to, on your social networking profile!

Social networking sites are the coolest stuff to have hit us. Use them to the max and use them to post whatever you want. Finally there is a place where you do not have to worry about prying eyes or suspicious bosses!

SABUNG AYAM