Counseling is usually the first suggestion people make when the question is asked “How Can I Save My Marriage?”. However, one or both of you may be very resistant to taking that step. If that is not a feasible solution (at least for right now) then there are three steps that can at least get you on the path towards saving your marriage:
1. Sacrifice – Oftentimes when there are issues in a marriage you are thinking more about what is wrong about the other person and not looking in the mirror to see if there is anything to correct in the person looking back at you. It just might be your spouse that is the blame for most of the problems (just ask Jenny Sanford, the first lady of South Carolina) but sometimes people start getting selfish and just feels the world revolves around them (Jon or Kate – your pick). The problem is if that is your perspective then all hope is lost. Sometimes you both have to be able to make some sacrifice in order to make it work or else you will some be living apart instead of together.
2. Open Up – Sometimes when people are stressed, there is a tendency to bottle things up instead of “letting it all out”. This isn’t healthy and eventually as the pressure builds and builds it becomes to much and eventually there is an explosion. The longer things stay bottled up, the bigger the explosion which will make it even harder for the both of you to talk and work out your problems. Communication is very key from the beginning.
3. Simplify – We have a tendency as humans to complicate even the most simple things. Nothing ever seems to be black or white. There are a thousand shades of gray. We are all experts of making “mountains out of molehills” I personally have made so many mountains that people are building cabins on them! Now is the time to analyze what you really need from your spouse. Try to simplify it as much as possible. Are you being too picky about how they act or how they do (or don’t do) things? Are you expecting too much? Take that step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than necessary. By simplifying you may just be able to save that marriage.
If you ever find yourself asking “How Can I Save My Marriage?”, and I sincerely hope that day never comes, then try these 3 steps. All three steps involve communication and looking within yourself. These 3 steps on how can I save my marriage may not be the complete answer but it can get you moving forward together.