Are you scared and confused? Feeling alone? Afraid to talk to your parents and friends about your pregnancy? I know what its like…I have been there, too. For most pregnant teenage girls, telling their parents about their big news is the hardest part of the pregnancy. I know some people hide their pregnancy for months before breaking the news to their folks. How should you tell your parents about your pregnancy? It really is different for everyone, depending on your parents. I think that everyone should tell their parents right away. It is best to get it out in the open and avoid months of stress from worrying about them finding out. Chances are they will be more angry later on because you hid it from them. Most of the time your parents will not take it as hard as you think. They may already know or think that you are having sex, even if they have not confronted you. They may have prepared themselves for that dreaded moment.
But first things first. Let me tell you about my experience as a pregnant teenager. Believe it or not, I was one of the good kids. Even my closest friends were shocked when they found out I was pregnant at 17. They had no idea that I was having sex. What my friends did not know, was that I had been in a very deep depression for about 2 years. I would go home after school and then cry myself to sleep. When I was around other people, I acted like nothing was wrong, but secretly I was scared and wished I had never been born. Eventually, I started drinking and partying more and more.
I met the guy that I thought was the love of my life when I was 16. We met at a party at his house, and that’s pretty much all our relationship consisted of for months…one party after another. After about 3 months of dating, I finally gave in and we began a sexual relationship. And a few months later, I became pregnant.
I left my boyfriend’s house right after taking seeing the positive pregnancy test. My mom was asleep when I got home, so I planned to tell her when it seemed like the right time & she was in a good mood. Maybe in a couple of weeks or a couple of months, but I knew I wasn’t ready to tell her right then. I laid in bed crying with a thousand things going through my mind. I felt so scared, alone & hopeless. I decided to just wake her up & tell her immediately. I did not know what to say, so I just came right out and told her. There was no yelling, no I-told-you-so’s. I can’t say that she seemed particularly happy, but she was being as supportive as she could.
I have read forums where girls posted the different ways they told their parents. Here is just a little advice:
Do not tell your mom or dad while in the car. Emotions are going to fly. No matter who is driving, it will be stressful and create a dangerous driving situation.
Do not tell your parents over the phone, unless you live too far away from them to meet with them in person. You really should be respectful enough to tell them face-to-face. Exception: If one or both of your parents have been physically abusive to you, or any member of your family, telling them in person may not be a good idea.
If you think it will be too difficult to talk to your parents alone, talk to a family member that you trust first. Ask them to come with you to talk to your parents. You should tell your parents personally, but having that moral support may help you feel more comfortable.
If your parents start yelling, DO NOT YELL BACK! You need to behave with maturity & respect. Show them that you understand their concerns and are ready to talk openly & honestly. Yelling back will just make things worse.Every situation is different & there is no way of knowing for sure how your parents will take the news. You may believe that they will think of you as a failure, but the truth is, your parents feel that they have failed you. You need their love and support right now. The best way to get that is by showing them love and respect. The emotional drama is not good for you, your family, or your baby.