It Is Not All About You

Reading a cheap romance novel is all about the sensual romance and the smell of perfume and after shave. There are so many pages on nitty gritty details that no one notices except a woman in the throws of early lust and attraction.

These books are written about the fantasies women have about a romance that honestly is not going to happen. These books are about men who cater to their every whim, who steal them away from a life of work and boring trials, a world where they don’t have to worry, or try, it all just happens.

What does this sound like? A fairy tale. Even in these modern days, little girls still love stories about a princess who finds her dream prince, and that is where the story ends. When women grow up and life comes full swing and the fairy tales turn out to be cotton candy that last as long as the smell of that after shave balm, how often do women pick up a romance novel and read it to themselves over a TV dinner? Or watch a chick flick that summarizes the world in a novel into just a couple hours?

Too often, to easily those very fantasies are what destroy good relationships. Sure, men have them too, but when it comes to women, it is imagining exaggerated tenderness from a superman who does not exist, and if he did, would be more interested in finding a superwoman that also does not exist. He would be interested in finding the perfect woman who always wears tight clothes and can cook, clean, work and still have kids that are perfect.

So, if everyone wants something that perfect then we can give up now on the whole human race. But, if people would look instead at what they can do better themselves and for others, then that superman and superwoman may not be so far away as fairy tales make it seem. The key to making a relationship work is not to focus on what the other person is or is not doing, positive or negative, although remembering and thanking for the good things is a really good idea.

So instead of dreaming of the perfect guy and what he will do, look for things to do for that great guy in your life. Give a little more, without complaint or nagging or tit for tat, and superman may be just behind you.
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Chick Corea “SPAIN” from “Select – Live Under The Sky `90” Special Live. / Al Jarreau Steve Gadd

Chick Corea “SPAIN” from “Select – Live Under The Sky `90” Special Live.

Al Jarreau (Vo)
Buzzy Feiten (Gt)
Freddy Washington (E-Bs)
Lenny Castro (Perc)
Steve Gadd (Drms)
Joe Sample (Pf)
Philippe Saisse (Kbd)

Live at 1990/07/28-1990/08/09 in JAPAN.

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