Saving a marriage is perhaps one of the prime concern areas of every married couple. With divorce rates hitting an all time high, it is no wonder that couples are permanently in a state of anxiety whether they are playing their roles right in the marriage. But is saving a marriage very difficult? The answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
Saving a marriage can be a daunting task for people who are overtly egoistic. Selfishness really has no place if you want a marriage to remain on the right tracks. Unfortunately the term ‘compromise’ is more associated with submissiveness and subservience these days, but in reality compromise in a marriage can be one of the crucial pillars in saving a marriage.
Yet, saving a marriage is easy for couples who base their relationship on mutual trust, love and respect. It is as much important to trust your partner implicitly, as to respect that trust. Once you deviate from this path, the trust is lost forever. In any case, it can take years to rebuild the lost trust.
Some experts have equated marriage to a young sapling that refuses to grow. It remains tender, brittle and vulnerable to damage nearly forever, unless you nurture and provide nourishment by way of loving, understanding and most importantly with your forgiveness. For saving a marriage, you have to forgive each other for the follies and the inevitable idiosyncrasies, which incidentally differentiate us from being robots.
While there are no clear-cut formula for saving a marriage, as every marriage works on a set of parameters which are unique and individualized, there are still some golden rules for saving a marriage, which are given below:
o Every marriage, after a few years would turn into something predictable and may be boring too. Learn to accept this reality, rather than rejecting it. For the sake of saving a marriage, it is your responsibility to allow fresh air into the relationship. There are countless ways you can do this.
o For saving a marriage, learn to accept the way your spouse is. It is impossible to change a person intrinsically, and remodel him or her according to what you like. You can create a ‘customized’ individual but this would not help you saving a marriage.
o Develop implicit faith in your spouse’s abilities. Obviously he or she would perform in some areas and fail in some. Remember, you too are not perfect.
o For saving a marriage, respect your spouse for what he or she is. Look at their good points while learning to ignore the aspects you do not quite like.
o Always keep the channels of communication open, where neither of you should hesitate to share your confidences with each other. For saving a marriage, you are first best friends and then husband and wife.
o Learn to laugh together. This can have immense therapeutic value in saving a marriage as well as help you tide over many crises in life.
o Be prepared to walk that extra mile if you are really keen in saving a marriage. Whether you like it or not, a relationship only survives and thrives if you adjust to each others’ whims and fancies.
o Be an encouraging partner. Refrain from overt and negative criticism. Try and avoid being abusive both physically and verbally.