Lately I am hearing all sorts of news about the problems with new marriages. This last item was about infidelity. It’s estimated that within the first year anywhere from 20%-50% of couples will have been unfaithful to their partners. The explanation is that this is a cry for help because of intimacy issues! It forces conversation and help.
The best time to talk about infidelity is not after it happens but before it happens, when you are sitting down and in the process of writing your wedding vows. That’s why I put together my innovative and unique perspective around writing wedding or commitment vows.
BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO HAVE EVERY CHANCE POSSIBLE TO HAVE A HAPPY, PASSIONATE AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.
IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN.
A STRONG INTIMATE MARRIAGE HAS TO BE PLANNED FOR!
It begins by having those intimate talks BEFORE, not after there are problems.
When you know what it is you are working for, have a vision and goals, you have something out in front of you that you can direct your energies to and gather your activities and actions around.
By casually repeating vows you haven’t written yourself, or writing vows by yourself with no conversation, you are squandering the most important and energetic time you will ever have in your life!
If you don’t sit down and consciously and specifically get clear about what it is you want for yourself and for your marriage you have no rudder, no sails, and no wind!
Your dream or vision creates the goals. Those goals are the rudder. The sails are the actions you take to work towards and accomplish those goals and the wind is the passion and intimacy that grows and expands and gets stronger and stronger.
Sit down together and talk about the life you want to create together. Talk about careers, and children, sex and money, family, houses, cars, vacations, philanthropy, etc.
Talk about it NOW! Not later when there are so many problems that some of them cannot be overcome.
You will have the best chance for happiness if you know what makes you happy and you make plans on how to keep that happiness, intimacy, love and passion alive.You think that because you are infused with energy and passion now it will last all on its own. It may.
But most likely it won’t because there is too much competition for your time and energy these days. You’ve got to craft a dream, a vision, a set of life goals for yourselves, then write your vows promising what you will do to keep that dream alive.
Then keep reading those vows every day.
You CAN have a happy and long life together. But you’ve got to PLAN for it! You begin by writing your wedding or commitment vows TOGETHER IN SHARED CONVERSATION WHERE YOU WRITE DOWN THE DREAM YOU HAVE FOR YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!
Then follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage, which mainly is about doing little things every day to keep it all alive and thriving.
I have a totally free copy of the 10 Commandments of Marrriage for you. Totally free means that you will not even have to leave your Email address. Because it’s my gift to you! 10 Commandments
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes
The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!