Confidence, we all talk about it, we all have it and we all generally would like more of at certain times in our lives, but what actually is it?
Quite simply, confidence is just a set of skills that can be learned by anyone to give them the feeling that they can succeed in any given situation or circumstance. That’s Great News! Why? Because it means that we can all learn to have more whenever we need it, it’s not genetic, it’s nothing to do with how much money we have, it’s nothing to do with upbringing, it’s not for a select group – it’s there for us all!!! Hooray!!
Very often we are confident in some areas of our lives and not others for example you might be confident at home with your family but not so confident in meetings with those above you at work, you might be confident in your job but not good at making friends easily, you may be confident with your friends but not in dealing with children. In order to learn the skills we need it’s useful to identify which specific areas do you lack confidence and why and how would life be different if you had more confidence in this area? So go ahead and answer these questions for yourself right now.
What areas of my life do I lack confidence in?
How would it be different if I had more confidence in this area of my life?
Congratulations! You have just begun the process of being more confident by taking the first steps in identifying what can be improved and importantly why you want to improve it. So for your chosen situation can you think of someone that you know or have seen who has the kind of confidence that you would like in that situation? Write down their name and then list what you admire about them in that situation?
How do they walk, stand, breathe, speak, what is their body language, what questions do they ask, what sort of words do they use? Imagine what it’s like to be them. If you have the opportunity, why not ask them? One of the best things to do to learn to be confident is to model someone who is already great at it. Ask them if they are always confident, chances are they feel a little nervous at times too, they just do it anyway and that’s the key. Confident people still feel a bit scared – they are just prepared to give it a go anyway. That’s good news for the rest of us J We’ll look at some of the other ways to help us just do it anyway in future articles. For now, just take the actions above and you’re well on your way to a more confident you.